Kelsey Schmitz -- Italy (ITD)

I’ve worked and re-worked this essay so many times, and it has proven to be one of the most challenging writing assignments I have ever had to do. Italy was the most fun, challenging, and life changing experience of my life, and I have found that it is so deeply rooted in my heart it is impossible to do it justice with words. I learned more about culture, love, friendship, world issues, the art of communication, and human nature in those short five weeks then I have during the past 16 years of my life. But mostly, I learned about myself. My trip in Italy was one of self-discovery. In discovering other cultures, worlds, and people I discovered something deep inside of myself that cannot be explained. It is something that can only be felt.

I can tell anyone many stories about Italy. I can tell people how amazing it was to be in Italy during the World Cup, and I can attempt to explain the beautifully painted buildings in Desensano. I can tell funny stories about miscommunication or stories about those famous Italian boys. But no matter how I try, I can’t explain how it felt. I can’t explain the love and comfort my host mom showed me or waking up with the Tuscan sun and looking out on the village of Volterra. I can’t explain about swimming in the Mediterranean at night and feeling so connected with the world it hurt.

No words can explain the connection I made with my group of 10 other Americans. They became my family, they became my brothers and sisters. Ciccino Mio, my group, became my blood. I didn’t know friendship before Ciccino Mio. I didn’t know love before I met them. We came from different backgrounds, some from public schools, some from private, some black, brown, and white. Some of us did art, some of us played sports. But all of us came to Italy for a reason. And all of us left with a new family.

I can't explain what it was like to laugh with Mara or what it was like to dance with Samantha at parties our host family took us to or stay up until late in the night talking about life with Julio. Nothing I say can justify the happiness I found in Italy and in those 10 unbelievable people. And nothing I say can explain how painful it was to say goodbye to all of them one last time late that night at JFK. They are my best friends, my family, my Ciccino Mio. And I will never forget what they taught me.

I never thought I could fall in love with a place as hard as I fell in love with Italy. There is one spot in the word that is my spot. No matter how many people walk through it, it is my spot. Maybe some people will walk through it and feel nothing, Maybe some will feel the power I felt, but no matter what, that little area symbolizes everything I hold true in my heart.

It is in the Tuscany town of Volterra. I found it on accident. I was walking around trying to absorb as much culture as I can and I ended up in a completely residential area. There was a tiny little church made out of crooked stones. Dozens of crooked steps led from it down to a small pond. I sat there for an hour in shock. I could hear Italians talking in the background and all I could feel was peace. It was a peace I never knew before. For one hour, the world was calm. My heart was brimming with love and content. It was happiness. I was happy, really truly happy. It was too much to handle. A human can’t handle that much happiness. My body just wasn’t big enough to contain all of it. I broke down. I sobbed my eyes out. It was the most amazing hour of my life. If I have to sum up Italy, that is how I would do it. That crooked staircase was a culmination of what I learned in Italy, and everything I was about to learn for the rest of the program. That little corner, that little forgotten niche of the world is where I found love, peace, and happiness.

Now I am back in America, and the most difficult part of the experiment is ahead of me. I am a new person trying to adjust to my old life. I think the key is to not adjust myself to my old life, but adjust my old life to myself. Italy sparked a fire inside of me. If five weeks traveling with ten Americans, meeting dozens of amazing Italians in one country can change me this much, what else is out there for me to discover? What else is out there for me to learn? No matter how many people alter my life, no matter how many places I fall for, Italy will always be in my heart. Isabelle’s smile is always with me. My host family’s warmth and comfort is something I try to pass onto others. Julio’s laugh rings in my head everyday. Mara’s smile is something I always see when I think of something she would enjoy. Italy’s history and beauty in glowing in everything I do.

Italy stole my heart, and pieces of my heart were left everywhere I went in Italy.

*L'Italia, sono per sempre bambino della sua bellezza. Con lei ho trovato la felicità, l'amore e la pace. Con lei ho collegato col mondo. L'amo. Ciao bella.*